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My disordered eating and related issues

17 May
External Services:
  • cogitoergobum@livejournal.com
:::This journal will no longer be updated.:::
I hesitate to say the word recovery, I'm not sure I even believe in total recovery. But after 12 years of EDs I've finally taken up residence at the recovered end of the spectrum, rather than the sick or ambivolent one. Two years ago I thought I was a lifer and I honestly now think I'm OK, not at risk of relapse. Depression is still kicking my ass, I'm broke and trying to figure out how to salvage my life after anorexia...life isn't suddenly all birdsong and rainbows, recovery isn't suddenly hitting a target weight or getting out of treatment and suddenly life is wonderful. It's a subtle gradual thing. And it's nothing like the 'fake recovered' spaces in between relapses.

I still care a lot about all my eating disordered comrades here on LJ and in the wider world. There are so many of us, with so much collective pain and I wish I could offer more help, I have immense respect for anyone living with an eating disorder. I never really had anything revelatory or helpful to say here...but if you're looking for smart, supportive ED blogs I can recommend these two:-
ed-ucate/livejournal.com and ed-bites.blogspot.co.uk/.
18th century, 80's, 90's, alicia paz, animal print, anorexia nervosa, aphex twin, art, balenciaga, berlin, bizzaro, bjds, black tights, blues, blur, booze, britpop, calvin klein, cartoons, casshern, cats, chickens, chrisopher fowler, coen brothers, comme des garcons, compulsive undereating, computers, counting calories, dada, death, deftones, depression, dollmaking, dolls, dolly parton, drawing, drawr, drugs, earrings, ednos, eels, electric wizard, electro, expensive stuff, feminism, flip-flops, french bulldogs, gareth pugh, ghosts, giant robo, ginger snaps, glam, gogol bordello, gore, gorillaz, gothabilly, grunge, gundams, guns'n'roses, hair dye, hammer horror, hans bellmer, horror films, horror punk, hunger, indie, inka essenhigh, jokes, jsbx, kafka, listopia, lying in weight, magic realism, maharishi, makeup, making friends, manga, margaritas, mascara, max fleischer, memes, metal, mgmt, michael moorcock, miso soup, miss platnum, moschino, newcastle, nofx, oekaki, oil paint, orgy, paint tool sai, painting, parkas, partying hard, pavement, perfume, photography, photoshop, piercings, post-modernism, poupeegirl, preen, psychology, pugs, ren and stimpy, rene magritte, rock, rococco, rushmore, scifi, select magazine, self-injury, shed seven, sleaze, sleep, spring, st james infirmary, starving, steve ayelet, suede, surrealism, synaesthesia, tank girl, the black keys, the chap, the enlightenment, the face, the golden cage, the internet, the irrepressables, the third man, tiki, trainers, twin peaks, unkle, virginia woolf, vodka, volumising mascara, walking everywhere, x-files, yaoi, yves tanguy