Kat (cogitoergobum) wrote,

So tired.

Cue the House references, I think I have lupus.
I've been getting a malar rash on my face on and off for a couple of years now, which comes with a bright red rash on my body. I also have periods where I'm to tired to get up or do anything with fever, mouth ulcers and sore joints. I don't want to go to the doctors and say "hey, I think I have systemic lupus" though. I think they already think I'm a malingerer. Also, I'm too fucking tired.
Somewhere on my early medical notes it says "neurotic mother" because my mum kept taking me to the Drs when I was a kid. Then another Dr thought I was being abused by my parents because I was always covered in bruises and breaking bones. I was just clumsy. Somewhere else in my medical notes it says I'm a lesbian because that's what I told a Freudian shrink for no reason I can recall. He made me draw pictures of myself and kept them in a file. Oh and I made another therapist cry. I'd love to have a look at my lifes worth of medical notes to see what all these people have thought of me. There were apparently some photos taken at the scene of an accident where I got some pretty gory injuries. I was always disappointed I never got to see them. I'd totally send them to rotten.com. :D

I need to spend this afternoon when I get back from the pit of despair jobcentre catching up with my online life. I've been coming home from the gallery and pretty much just grabbing some food and going to bed lately.


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